“I Try to Become a Morning” is a poem that explores the exquisite tension between a desire for transcendent purity and the inevitable burden of earthly existence—the poignant human condition of forever striving for the ideal while forever being anchored to the real.
I Try to Become a Morning
By Cathy Xinman
Everywhere, morning
Dew covers the balcony glass,
as if winter were softly drawing near.
Cars, when I cross the street,
find their chance to turn.
I try to become a morning.
Summer is still holding its gentleness.
Dew, with its own body, cleanses my shoes
before the sun gathers them away.
The sun—the one I can never catch—
the dew carries my stains
and will arrive on time.
Flight must always bear the morning light.
Yet I still must walk.
Dear shoes,
I tell you honestly:
I do not wish to walk in you.
The ground holds so much dust.
I remain a child, afraid.
Cathy Xinman writes poetry in English and Chinese. Find her English-language collection, Where You Love Yourself, on Amazon. You can also hear her poetry on her TikTok page. Follow Pancouver on Instagram @PancouverMedia and on Bluesky @pancouver.
