Cathy Xinman: The Moon Is So Far from Me, Let Alone People

Cathy Xinman
Cathy Xinman is a B.C. poet and screenwriter who writes in English and Chinese.

Have you ever stood under a full moon and felt not romance, but a profound and startling loneliness? Have you ever been in a room full of people—or even in the arms of someone you love—and felt a silent, unbridgeable distance grow within you?

This poem opens in that fragile space where human connection briefly blooms—and then vanishes. What lingers is not mere loneliness, but the heavy, inescapable moment of being returned to oneself, fully human and exposed. Solitude here is not a feeling; it is a fact of existence. Love for humanity carries its own risk: it draws us close, only to release us back into distance.

It confronts the timeless tension between individual independence and our social nature—and yet it reaches further, touching on the fundamental solitude humanity may face in the future: when everything can be instantly connected, the truest encounter between souls may become the most distant.

Prepare to see your own quietest reflections mirrored in these lines. This is a companion for anyone who has ever felt alone in a connected world. You are not alone in your loneliness.

The Moon Is So Far from Me, Let Alone People

By Cathy Xinman

Is the full moon the same one you see?
How lonely it is—
the nature I love,
my refuge, my pain-reliever.
Last night it felt lonelier than I,
heavier than sorrow.
Perhaps I fell in love with humanity,
and so it left me.

What language did you speak to me,
one I had never heard?
My depth and contentment suddenly broke.
With you I never felt alone;
our bond was whole, unconditional.
Yet last night I felt unbearably solitary.
Perhaps I have fallen in love with humankind,
and so you left me.

I thought I had outgrown
all hunger for connection,
all longing to be understood and received.
But the full moon holds a vast solitude.
Perhaps I have fallen in love with humankind,
and so you left me.

Never a night like this—
so desolate, so helpless.
The moon poured its solitude over me.
I am, at my core, simply human;
I cannot bear this moment’s connection.
The moon is so far from me—
how much farther are people.

Cathy Xinman writes poetry in English and Chinese. Find her English-language collection, Where You Love Yourself,on Amazon. You can also hear her poetry on her TikTok page. Follow Pancouver on X @PancouverMedia and Instagram @PancouverMedia.

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Cathy Xinman

Cathy Xinman is a B.C. resident who writes poems in English and Chinese.

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The Society of We Are Canadians Too created Pancouver to foster greater appreciation for underrepresented artistic communities. A rising tide of understanding lifts all of us.

We would like to acknowledge that we are gathered on the traditional and unceded territories of the Coast Salish peoples of the xʷməθkwəy̓əm (Musqueam), Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish), and Səl̓ílwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. With this acknowledgement, we thank the Indigenous peoples who still live on and care for this land.

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