Indian writer Surinder Neer feels that Taboo is the ideal title for her recent collection of Punjabi short stories. That’s because people face so many taboos every day in her country.
“There are domestic taboos; there are religious taboos; there are social taboos,” Neer tells Pancouver over Zoom. “And they are everywhere.”
Neer, a resident of Jammu, says that boys learn how to become the boss of the house. According to her, they internalize a taboo on doing laundry, cleaning, and other domestic chores, which are reserved for women. Sadly, Neer has witnessed how this continues even when both spouses are in the workforce.
“A woman is always suppressed in this atmosphere,” states Neer, the author of three novels and two other collections of short stories.
Moreover, she maintains that the biggest Indian taboo is the rule-based caste system. Within the four main Hindu castes—Brahmins (priests, teachers), Kshatriyas (rulers and warriors), Vaishyas (landowners, merchants), and Sudras (servants)—there are thousands of other castes and subcastes. Outside of them is the fifth group, Dalits, who’ve suffered enormously as so-called “untouchables”.
“We think we are so modern right now, but casteism has not gone from our minds,” Neer insists. “Self-taboos are a cause of discrimination in our society. We have so many things that we have to address.”
Last month, Neer visited Vancouver as a finalist for the Dhahan Prize for Punjabi Literature, which went to Jalandhar City writer Jinder for Safety Kit. Jinder collected the $25,000 grand prize. Neer received a $10,000 cash award for Taboo, which exposes a range of troublesome attitudes.
“Frankly speaking, it’s a dream come true being selected as a finalist because this is such a prestigious award,” Neer declares. “Everybody is dreaming of it.”
Taboo on live-in relationships
The title story, “Taboo”, focuses on a relationship between a traditional mother and her career-oriented daughter. The mother wants her to get married. However, the daughter insists on living with her male partner.
This is a monumental taboo for the mother. She can’t comprehend how her daughter can say that she has no time for marriage, yet lives with a partner without setting down roots.
The daughter, on the other hand, says that these relationships are no longer taboo in India. Moreover, she feels that this arrangement reflects her personal priorities and complements work-related responsibilities.
Neer reveals that the daughter finally convinces her mother of this after saying: “I cannot surrender my freedom to any person who dominates me psychologically, mentally or financially because I am very much able to look after myself. Why should I dominate? Why should I be dominated?”
Meanwhile, the mother, who is single, has a male friend who teaches her yoga. This man addresses the mother as “dear” in his messages. And the daughter is alarmed when she spots this on her mom’s phone. The daughter then insists that she cannot tolerate this, astonishing her mother.
“She’s surprised to see how this girl is reacting when she was okay with her relationship,” Neer states. “Then the mother says, ‘You shouldn’t open my phone.’ ”
The younger woman replies that she should be allowed to do this as a daughter.
“The mother says, ‘No, I have my privacy as well, and I cannot surrender my freedom to you. You have no right to my phone. If you have your priorities and your privacy in your life, I have my own priority and my privacy. If I respect your privacy, you have to respect my privacy.’ ”
Transliteration builds bridges
Neer points out that the mother is breaking a taboo by maintaining a friendship with a man who calls her “dear”.
At that point, the co-creator of the Dhahan Prize, Vancouver businessman Barj Dhahan, adds his perspective in the Zoom conversation. He emphasizes that even though this story deals with human sexuality, that phrase is never uttered.
“Talking about this is taboo in Punjabi and Indian culture,” Dhahan says.
He and his wife Rita created the Dhahan Prize in 2013 to support Punjabi literature in the same way that the Giller Prize supports Canadian literature. The Canada India Education Society and UBC were founding partners and now, RBC is the presenting partner. Juries evaluate Punjabi books in Gurmukhi script, which is primarily used in India, and Shahmukhi script, which is primarily used in Pakistan. RBC, the Dhahans, and their friends and family fund the award.
The funders are allocating an additional $6,000 to the three finalists collectively to transliterate their books into the other script. One of the other finalists, Shahzad Aslam, lives in Lahore, Pakistan, and he also received a $10,000 cash award.
By transliterating the books, the organizers hope to encourage people on both sides of the Radcliffe Line–which separates Indian Punjab from Pakistani Punjab—to read Punjabi books from both countries. Dhahan Prize juries also evaluate Punjabi books written by diasporic authors.
“When we launched 12 years ago, there was very little exchange that way,” Dhahan says. “Shahzad Aslam’s Shahmukhi book is already published in the Gurmukhi script.
“So, that is beginning to happen,” he continues. “Now, we have a bridge between the two scripts; we have bridges between borders. Punjabi literature is becoming global. And I think the Dhahan Prize is playing a role in that.”
Neer has a keen interest in languages. She grew up speaking Punjabi at home and she fluently speaks all five of Jammu and Kashmir’s official languages: Kashmiri, Dogri, Urdu, Hindi, and English. Neer’s classes were in Urdu through the 10th grade because Punjabi was not offered in Jammu and Kashmir government schools. Over the years, activists have not succeeded in persuading the government to amend the policy
However, across the border in Pakistan where Urdu and English are official languages, the Punjabi language has scored recent advances. This comes after more than 70 years of Urdu-centric language policies.
“The Punjab Assembly in Pakistan passed a resolution that MLAs can speak the Punjabi language on the floor of the assembly on October 31 this year,” Dhahan says. “In that same Punjab Assembly, a resolution passed that Punjabi will be taught in Pakistani Punjab from Grade 1 all the way into colleges and universities. This is a big, big announcement.”
There are approximately 150 million Punjabi speakers in the world. About 89 million live in Pakistan and another 31 million are in India. According to the 2021 census, there are nearly a million Punjabi Canadians.
For more information about the Dhahan Prize for Punjabi Literature, visit the website. Follow Pancouver on X @PancouverMedia.
