Cathy Xinman: Sleep, Do Not Fear Me

Cathy Xinman 3 sun sleep Christmas
Cathy Xinman's poems address love and nature, among other topics.

Have you ever lain awake, yearning for a rest that refuses to come? Cathy Xinman’s luminous poem, “Sleep, Do Not Fear Me”, gives that universal struggle a voice, transforming it into an intimate and lyrical conversation. Xinman performs a magical act of personification, casting sleep not as a state to be achieved, but as a beloved partner—a noble figure to be courted, a lover to be wooed.

More than a reading experience, the poem serves as a gentle guided meditation. Its opening lines—a soft invocation to sleep—are particularly effective for calming a restless mind. By inviting sleep in rather than chasing it, the poem offers a profound shift in perspective for anyone familiar with the nightly battle for rest.

This is a mirror held up to our own nocturnal vulnerabilities. It speaks to the deep human ache for peace and the quiet hope for reconciliation with our own weary minds. Through its timeless themes of longing and reverence, “Sleep, Do Not Fear Me” offers not just a reading experience, but a moment of profound and shared solace.

(A gentle reminder: This poem is a companion for your journey to rest, not a substitute for professional medical advice. If your struggle with sleep persists, please consult a healthcare provider.)

Sleep, Do Not Fear Me

by Cathy Xinman

Sleep, do not fear me—
I beg you, look upon me gently.
When I say goodnight to you,
be like flower lips,
guiding me to the edge of the grass,
to the edge of the water.
Let stillness line up on the track.
Ready—run—
I will follow you.

Like a bride, you are my beloved.
Please love my darkened, sun-burnt skin,
as if I am the one who keeps watch over the sun.
You are forever noble.
Winning your reward
is my greatest goal;
I delight in arriving at you.

May you see me as beautiful,
let me slip into dream
where everywhere is the life we have lived,
its rises and falls.
I have learned to sigh,
and with it, learned insomnia—
A lesson never needing to be taught.
The sky is dark.
My mind holds the waves.
I whisper: I will fall asleep.

Yet I always open my eyes,
in the weary night
as the waves begin to rock me.
Surely you are praying for me.
When I wake, I find my sighs are gone.
The morning leaps with joy,
a perfect morning,
your eyes gazing straight at me.
What an honour it is.

Cathy Xinman writes poetry in English and Chinese. Find her English-language collection, Where You Love Yourself, on Amazon. You can also hear her poetry on her TikTok page. Follow Pancouver on Instagram @PancouverMedia and on Bluesky @pancouver.

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Cathy Xinman

Cathy Xinman is a B.C. resident who writes poems in English and Chinese.

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The Society of We Are Canadians Too created Pancouver to foster greater appreciation for underrepresented artistic communities. A rising tide of understanding lifts all of us.

We would like to acknowledge that we are gathered on the traditional and unceded territories of the Coast Salish peoples of the xʷməθkwəy̓əm (Musqueam), Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish), and Səl̓ílwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. With this acknowledgement, we thank the Indigenous peoples who still live on and care for this land.

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